You look like an angel.

yes. Tattered, dirty river angel.

I will be your angel for a few days. and you are mine.

I rowed the middle fork. in it’s entirety. from end to end. well, duh. but yes, again, but it was a real river this time. I nailed every line and my rowing game stepped up to perform. I loved my boat. The hits were HUGE. Fucking HUGE! I am becoming a confident rower and I am incredibly stoked on being able to row like this. I row like I ski. It has taken me so many years to get to this point.

What spilled my cup over the brim was being able to share it with a like minded soul who boated with me side by side. We kept smiling at each other from the distance and smirking. he always had eyes on me and we always stuck together. He kept telling me how stupid freaking cute I looked on my boat with my brim hat, sunglasses, biting my lip and smiling at him. The first night we had sex it happened on a boat bobbing in the eddy on Tappan Island camp under the most starry skies I have ever seen. He rocked my world for several days, on and off the river. He had my back and he kept staring at my ass. Then at nights complimenting me on my pant choices. Me knowing during the day, full well, that he was staring at me. He made love to me and lingered in passionate, long kisses and whispered my name. We connected in a way that made my heart leap. Holy shit did we have chemistry.

For a few days I had a partner. In every way. At night I told him how scared I was and how I almost puked on my boat and was gagging from released anxiety after a rapid. He was always right next to me. Always helping me and taking care of me. Being absolutely the sweetest.

This was the most amazing river trip I have ever done.

Our paths are meant to go different ways. maybe we will meet again years from now. I will cherish this incredible memory for a long time.

It is oddly perplexing tho. I want to scream off roof tops what an amazing experience I had. but he belongs to someone else and I have to let it go. I wanted to have a fling and I knew from the start it would be nothing more than that. It’s a little shocking how much I miss him tho. And a little surprised that in the end our fling actually meant a lot more to me than I thought it would. I actually think it did for him too. I didn’t think I’d care that much, I just wanted to make out and have sex. On the river.

I think I fell in love a little. It’s hard not to when the whole package is all of a sudden so fucking good. The partnership. The sex. The stars in his eyes. Our big smiles to one another and silent communication. Him nodding his head at me after a big one. Him watching me hit that hole.

Motherfucking middle fooooork!!!!!