after years of practice, I have the capacity to control my mind. to control my fear. it will always be ok. no matter what is lost or how things change. this too shall pass.

I have a worry over my mom’s worry.

I take moments of tranquility to sit on the island and watch the water on the lake. I take evening sauna’s in the light of a storm lantern. how life is. I changed my airfare to go back to the US on Jan 9th. it doesn’t bother me at all the way it used to. I have found a way to cope with the darkness. and I am hardly as depressed as I once was. finland sucks the life out of you, but knowing that me staying makes sucha  huge difference in making these key changes, it’s something I give freely. this mountain I started climbing couple years ago is looking better. I only hope that we are not a year too late.

I love nothing more than the silence of the island. calm or stormy lake. the house sits silent.