as soon as I got back I felt like home. I didn’t have that week of depression and missing my family that usually follows. rather, I worry this time will fly by a little too fast. it’s incredibly good to be back in the Madison valley. this is home. I want this to be home for long time to come. I love skiing around big sky and realizing how many friends I actually have there, many people to welcome me back. it’s good to be home. skiing with friends.

I have been shopping for land. I put an offer in on one that I am pretty sure I want. I am torn though. it’s a bit terrifying, but I am fairly certain I am doing the right thing. I want to grow old here. few folks here in the community are rallying to help me build a house and they are collecting materials.. windows, siding, water heater… I am a little heart tugged by the caring community we have here.

on another note. I met someone. maybe this is nothing. but. turns out he is  someone I’ve met in a long time that I actually might like to keep. at least for a little while. I don’t know what to make of the whole thing tho. it’s happening so quickly and I am letting it happen. I met him for a random tinder date on Tuesday. he’s cute, funny and nice. he’s the kind you take home to your parents. he kept texting me. so on friday I asked him to ski the sphinx with me. we didn’t summit but we had a great day of shit-fuck-skiing. we met again on sunday for a walk up the M, dinner at the Bacchus for Super bowl. whiskey at his house. sex 4 times. breakfast and lots of kisses.

4 times. yup.

tread lightly now. be brave. I am trying this on for size. I think it’s been long enough that I am as ready as I’ll ever be to try this dating thing. I still don’t understand the process or what this is. I’ve said before, I still don’t understand what relationships are, what they are supposed to be and how they take place to begin with. is this how?

and really, how do you approach a relationship now that everything has changed? now that I don’t need anyone. now that I don’t have goals like kids and marriage. just the pleasure of his company and to warm my bed at night. I would appreciate someone and would be happily surprised if someone wanted to stick around. but. what do I do with this? nothing.

these are delicate times.