I have held a strong belief that all women are crazy. um, to be specific, I used to believe that 90% of women were crazy, and the rest seemed to maintain. however, I have come to believe that we are all crazy, the only thing that truly sets us apart is variable levels of control we excercise over ourselves. some of us manage to understand that we must keep our crazy bottled up and try to behave normally.

then there are those of us that drift in and out with such veracious pace that I cannot be sure if the moments of sanity are simply misinterpretations. bless the hearts of many women I know, they are mostly absolutely insane, but I often love their hearts nonetheless. some of us are also so far removed into our craziness that even an old friend could not point out how crazy your friend truly is. I could not even begin this conversation.

oh boy.

so many things to be against. so many things to campaign about. so may things to stand for. so many things to hate. what for?? it’s exhausting. fighting your whole life is exhausting. why not just be happy? when you move to montana you forget about all this. the fighting.

it’s also amazing to have a conversation about anything outside portland city limits and how someone can possibly be so blind to understanding that everyone in the world does not share her beliefs. and she has no patience to understanding why. why I can’t only eat organic. why recycling is hard. why I own a car in montana. why I don’t want to buy used clothes for my sister and brother in finland for christmas. and why they don’t give a shit if it’s made from organic cotton or not. why homeless dogs are not dying because it’s cold outside. why I have a roof rack on my car. why the buffalo roam.

also hard to point out that her boyfriend will never be what she wants him to be and seems to be slowly losing his last brain cells. it will NEVER get any better! either you decide to give it a rest (or you should for everyones sake!) or you must leave him, but you cannot keep trying to change a 40-years old man, let alone bitch at him about everything he does and does not do..?? why stay with someone whom you have to nag at all times to do this, do that, do everything my way, because it’s the only way. and by the way, you will not be given any leeway into whom you might be as a person. no excuses! if you can’t tell left from right, is that cause for ridicule? I would never dare to tell james to get off the computer like a mom telling a 5-year old to go clean his room cause quests are coming over. but quests were not coming over. no one was coming and we were leaving. why? why? why? I also do not at all, for a second understand why you would EVER, under any circumstances allow relatives in your baby’s life if you wholeheartedly stand against who they are, what they believe in and how horrid you believe they are. I hope she can eventually make good choices for her child and not follow the same path her mother took. but the apple only falls so far.