we sat in the living room of the summer house, over late breakfast, with the weather outside. watching the magical grey stillness of the fall, it’s leaves on the ground. the storm over the lake with it’s wake beating over the shoreline rocks. this little room with tall windows, high ceilings, furniture from turn of the century and grandma’s crocheted table cloth. fire in the fire place. we talked for what seemed like hours. falling in love a little.

he’s like some harbor. why do I feel that way when I’m with him? like you were made for each other in some way. maybe I’m the only one who felt that way. and it’s ok. I just like knowing there are people like him out there.

I thought there was something about him when we skied together in montana for a couple days after our random encounter. I fell in love with him then. as a person. and I can keep falling in love with him now.

I don’t expect anything of it. I can love someone without it ever turning into anything other than a fantastic friendship. he is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I adore him and I am amazed by him. having met him makes me daydream a little.

makes me wonderful a little.

for sometime now, probably since the last time I saw him in Helsinki, I keep having dreams about him. dreams where we hang out for hours. dreams where all we do is sit around and talk. no one has created that sort of reaction in me. not for what seems like ages. maybe never. until now haven’t really acknowledged that I actually adore him. like it hadn’t really occurred to me before.

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the evening before Vincent and Eero showed up at the hotel, I showed them around and we had dinner. we drove to the summer house, enjoyed the incredible Sauna there. slept in and after breakfast went on an excursion with the row boat in inclement weather. the best 24 hours in a long time. probably because I got to spend it with those two.