I have returned from the homeland.

long pause.

for the first time in my life i saw myself an my family through the eyes of many observers. in a party of 150 or so, many came to personally tell me what an amazing person my mother was. how incrediably my dad was, or my sister. in so many ways, in one weekend i was told how amazing my family was. and though it was a celebration for my step-dad to reach fifty, it turned out to be a celebration of my family as a whole and I for the first time I saw my family in a different light. I have never been so moved by an outside source as to how amazing we are.

I have always said I have an amazing famille. But I thougth everyone says that. Which is fine, but for the first time I was moved to tears by the number of people who came forth to tell us that in person. and for the first time to have so many people witness us as a functioning group, pulling our best, for each other, to deliver the best for one of us whom we cared deeply for.

while there are many things that I desperately miss about my family, this was one to move me to the bone and nearly makes me willing to give up everything. just to spend the rest of my life in their light. I have many aspirations and suddenly none seem nearly as important as getting to share the rest of my life with the most amazing people on this planet.