I put on a song that reminds me of home. and I get high. I get high on thinking about driving my truck over the mountains around ennis. living the nomad life style. I get so high on dreams of being there. running a river, clicking into my bindings, rallying on a mountain bike or hiking the distance. I get high on life.

as much as I really love finland and love my family, I can’t escape the fact that my heart belongs in montana. I am home sick. I miss Ennis like crazy.

finland is so beautiful. birds are singing, flowers are out. I set my track for a run and I breathe all this air that always smells the same. even years later, I took a long walk to downtown with Moose and marveled at how alike it could possibly smell. all these years later, 17 years later, spring smells the same. there’s a shit ton of birds chirping everywhere.

the thing that gets me about finland every time is the people. the general public has this general disposition of being shit heads and gloomy all the time. being assholes most of the time. it’s exhausting. this fear of judgement and thus relentless judgement of others. jealousy and envy of others success of happiness. sometimes I wanna scream.

this gets me high on life. reminds me what sets me on fire. makes me fall in love with life all over again. I look forward to being free, with dirt between my toes, sweat on my brow. when the sun is out, it feels weird being in finland. while my friends are getting various surgeries in montana fixing their broken skiing components, I am focusing on work. soon enough, I will fly back home.