i believe i deserve better. i believe im worth something better. i believe.

i’ve heard it from enough people now that I think I understand. I’ve felt like garbage lately because of what someone I love has done and said. I want to believe that it’s not too much to ask not be cheated on by my partner. it’s not too much to ask to be treated better, to be treated with respect. as much as I’ve tried to understand how he could do and say such things what I can really figure out is that he has no respect for himself, thus it presents itself as be has no respect for me. I don’t want to be with someone who has so little will and so little self respect.

one of the hardest things in life is to walk away from someone you love. it’s incredibly hard when you’re left with no choice. i’ve come to understand clearly now, that I have way too much self respect to stay in this relationship. because staying is like saying its too bad that I can be treated this way and I allow it to go on. it’s like saying I accept it. I am way too proud of a person to settle for it, to allow myself to be treated this way. I don’t have to put up with it. I dare to believe that someone, someday will make me happy and won’t wreck what we’ve built. I dare to believe that its not too much to ask not be cheated on.

I’m incredibly happy that I have friends and family to turn to to talk about all these things. It’s hard to try to put things into perspective all alone sometimes. I consider myself truly blessed to have such friends.