a month went by since the last time I saw James. in the mean time I knitted him socks. they don’t match, they are a random collection of colors. even knitted some pink in them. I think he was baffled by them, kinda liked them, but was just confused by the fact that I knitted them. or that I made him socks. the whole thing, I don’t think he knew which part to be baffled by.

then he asked me if I would teach him how to knit. that’s the last thing I expected him to ask me.

it takes two days to be sure. two days to remind me. I am still happy he is with me. still when I look at him, I feel relentless joy that he loves me. i haven’t met anyone in a long time that was such a combination of painful honesty about who they are and with that honesty comes a trust and faith in knowing that he will always treat me right. he spends so much time in making sure that I am happy that I think he sometimes forgets to make himself happy.

I love finding him here. love finding him in my bed. love knowing he’s close. in this town, somewhere near. I have a friend, someone I can talk into getting in a boat or doing a bike ride. or both.