it’s a real bitch coming this way, in fact it’s fucking painful and awful. for about a week I feel nausea and like I am walking around in my sleep. the exhaustion gets so bad that I often feel dizzy and when I go into small spaces like elevators or bathrooms, I feel I might fall down. it’s really weird. feels like you are on a sail boat at all times. the routine is that I can’t sleep at night, my body is awake and does things like makes me get up and poop at 2am, I have to pee like 5 times in a night when I don’t pee at all during the day. my stomach also growls with hunger in the middle of the night, but during the day I lose my appetite and forget to eat anything.

the evenings are the worst: social hour. by 6pm I am so tired and dizzy, I literally just pass out. like I was drop dead drunk. having one beer really does the trick and my speech becomes slurred. literally the exhaustion gets so bad that I feel nauseous and the evenings are the absolute worst. BUT if I make it past 10pm, then I am wide awake again. though falling asleep is never an issue, the problem then becomes staying asleep. couple first nights I wake up around 2 or 3 am. wide awake. this gets better in about a week. but during all that time I just want to get some sleep, but my body and everything is so fucked up, it’s just not happening. so I just really feel ill for about a week. I hate jetlag.

today I woke up at 8am. FUCKING AWESOME!!!! I was thrilled to see the time when I got up to poo. god bless normalcy.

it’s because of this (and some other factors) that I sincerely, from now on plan to make my trips here last anywhere from a month to three months. I can do this. I can do this now and I should take advantage of the fact that I am able to come here how ever much I like. I have realized that fall is the best time for me to be here. it’s shitty in bozeman after october usually. yes, sometimes the skiing is awesome, but really, the best season for me in the united states is from january to september. I am focusing my sports. skiing the winter (byep starts up in january too), skiing the spring and summer into mountain biking season. rafting and whitewater follows and by september the H2O fueled activities die down. the waters stop flowing.