I leave. I have a hard time explaining to anyone what drives me back to the mountains. none of them hold a grudge to my absence, but they struggle to understand. someone who has never lived a life like mine, can probably never quite appreciate what drives me. my church. my religion. how could I settle for anything less when I have shown myself what true blessing is like? what is bliss.
I could become a nun for my mountains. for the big skies, for the wide open roads. for dirt between my toes and sweat on my brow. much like moose feels the need to run like hell when I let him off the leash momentarily. I feel the same need. I need to run, to scream, to feel the wind on my face. sadly, I love this place and I feel fulfilled here momentarily, but I need to run like hell from time to time.
I consider myself to be a professional at life. to be able to appreciate the beauty in so many things. on a daily basis, but far too often even I forget to really appreciate the beauty I see all around me. I went for a walk today with my mom and the dogs. the weather was windy, grey, misty and rainy. we walked to the beach in the rain, saw the beating wake among the turned rowboats, up the hill side through the meandering streets of all the old wooden houses. such a beautiful place. such a beautiful person.
I think if I stop moving, I’ll forget to really see what is so amazing about life. this blessing I’ve been given. my curse, my nightmare is to become indifferrent. to forget to love simple things and the amazing beauty of this world. I am always grateful for my gift to be able to see the world through rose colored lenses. sometimes it leads me astray, but it has given me so much in my life. many times in my life, I have said to myself that if I died tomorrow, I would be ok to go, because I feel like I have lived a life so full of amazing things.
thank you.
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