I was driving home the other day, after leaving work late at night and found myself happy and content. I have been busy working and spending time with my family. I see how good it makes me feel. I work my ass off and don’t really do anything else. fall into bed at night to get up in the crack of damn to run in the misty mornings or watching incredibly beautiful sun rises and get back to work. I rarely have days off and I’m always trying to catch up. I feel good. I’ll never get to a running high, but after a lap around the crest of the hill, I feel like I can go on and on. I want to keep running. smiling.

I see where it gets me. I don’t miss anything or anyone. I like being here and when the time comes again, I will be happy to return to the US for a few months. I don’t have time to get depressed. I don’t have time to be sad about what I might not have in my life. I have so many incredible things.

I love finland. I love this country so much, it amazed me frequently. it also baffles me frequently and frustrates me just the same. palm to the face and move on. in finland big brother is always watching. but it’s not the government, it’s the other people. so weird, live a little. I have an amazing family, perhaps I don’t tell them all often enough how much I adore each one of them. how proud of them I am. how proud I am of my mom. that makes me love life, that and the family business drives me here.

I care about our family business. and I see the importance in me being here. I really need to be here. for the sake of our business and to be strategic about where we want to head with it. we have a spot to succeed at this point and there are too many things that I cannot accomplish from being away. the ground work has been laid out and we have room to grow, but we have to work on it now. as much as we try to hire people outside of our family to do these things, the truth is that no one can still do it like me, my sister, or my mom can. and my sister and my mom are stretched thin, so I guess that leaves me. it’s a cliche, but good help is insanely hard to find. I accept that now and I accept my role.

I like staying up late with my mom and my sister, talking about where we’re headed. looking at our sales figures, haggling over radio spots and comparing brands that we might want to take on.